I’ve been listening to the Milwaukee broadcast of the World Series,1 which has familiarized me with the quirks of that media market. I’ve come to know the two egregiously Midwestern supermarket owners who scream their heads off about big savings on brats and canned peas. A local convenience store hawks something called a “cheese mountain pizza”, which is probably even less healthy than it sounds. Miller runs ads — it’s great that they’re getting the word out about Miller beer in Milwaukee. And the broadcast is sponsored by — I’m not joking — North Shore adult diapers. And why not? Many of us will eventually need adult diapers, we shouldn’t be weird about them. Honestly, I think a certain peace of mind might come with knowing “Those functions are in God’s hands now,” and that peace of mind should be easier to achieve if you’re backed by a quality product like North Shore.
But the main thing I’ve noticed about the ads is that every Republican candidate is trying to convince Wisconsinites that their opponent is a dangerous leftist freak. That is their only play, as it has been Republicans’ only play in every election for as long as I can remember. The fact that Democrats rejected gubernatorial candidate and leftist clown Francesca Hong and nominated normie David Crowley instead hasn’t keep right-leaning groups from evoking Hong and Woke 1 at every opportunity. Which illustrates that the mere existence of leftist wackos is an albatross around Democrats’ necks, even when those wackos have explicitly been rejected.
Consider this ad being run against Crowley:
I cannot find any evidence whatsoever that David Crowley has ever said “defund the police” or anything remotely similar. I can’t find even the implication of that view in his words, actions, legislative record, body language, old Friendster posts, or as subliminal messages when I play his speeches backwards. In a debate, Crowley said “We cannot defund the police,”2 and in June of 2020 — the exact moment when the woke storm’s winds were at peak velocity — he declined to argue for lower police budgets and said that people actually want better social services.3 The ad is a shitty, unfair, unsourced accusation, which makes it the second-most dishonest and racially-coded ad I encountered today.
Even though Democrats opted for Crowley over Hong, Republicans are determined to not let the memory of Hong die. Another ad accuses a Democratic State Assembly candidate of once saying favorable things about Francesca Hong:
Did you once mention Francesca Hong without calling her the b-word? Did you tap the breaks when you were driving and saw her crossing the street? Was she behind you at the grocery store with only one item, and you had two overflowing shopping carts, so you waved her through? How dare you, you monster — that is a huge electoral liability. To be fair, though, every Democratic ad tries to tie the Republican to Donald Trump — pro-Crowley ads make it sound like Trump and Tom Tiffany wore matching sweaters while doing a tandem bike tour of Wisconsin breweries. I guess the lesson is that backing unpopular politicians who support unpopular policies is bad politics. Who could have guessed?
And, of course, several anti-Crowley ads just scream “TTTTTAAAAAAAXXXXXXXEEEEESSSSSSSS!!!!!!!”
The part of that one that gets me is the line about the cake. CELEBRATED WITH CAKE??? OUTRAGEOUS!!! I could see celebrating with saltine crackers, or celebrating with a pile of grey oatmeal thrown on the floor. But CAKE — what is this, the court of Louis the Fucking Fourteenth? Let’s see this opulent, presumably-taxpayer-funded Confection Of Triumph:
Crowley sometimes supported tax increases and sometimes didn’t in his role as Milwaukee County Executive, as any sane person would. The sales tax in question raised Milwaukee county tax from 0.5% to 0.9%, and it was one small part of a major funding bill that got bipartisan support — 55 of 66 “yes” votes in the Assembly came from Republicans. But Republicans know that people hate taxes, and low taxes are their best answer to the affordability question. Which will be a problem for socialists the minute that people realize that only a small fraction of the DSA agenda could be funded by taxes on the wealthy.
The standard leftist response to ads like these is: Republicans already call Democrats radical communists, so Democrats might as well become radical communists. But I think that the validity of a charge matters a lot. If someone is calling me a cannibal, then I’d guess that people would be more likely to believe them if my backyard contains a giant cauldron filled with Lawry’s Seasoned Salt and human bones.
But the inane debate about whether Americans are secretly far-left somehow continues. It’s surreal to be a sentient person with a general awareness of politics and still have to contend with the leftist argument that Democrats would secure a permanent majority if only they’d embrace radical leftism. I feel that that argument can’t withstand even the briefest check-in with reality. It certainly can’t withstand a Milwaukee Brewers radio broadcast — I think that leftists should give one a listen and learn some things about the American electorate and adult diapers alike.
Some people might be wondering: “Why are you listening to the World Series? Is your interest in old stuff so severe that you listen to baseball games on a gigantic, wood, Philco radio?” No: Most nights, I renovate my probably-should-have-been-condemned house and listen to a baseball game.
Please note: That was a Democratic primary debate. If there was ever a time to suggest that maybe you support defunding the police, that would be it. But instead, Crowley said “we cannot defund the police.”
Here’s the full passage, from Marquette University Law School:
Gousha asked Crowley about the growing advocacy to “defund” police departments. Crowley said that when some people hear the term, they react viscerally to the thoughts of taking all budgeted money away from police departments. But, he said, that is not how he describes the issue. “What people are really saying is they want to see more programming into education, into mental health programs,” and into similar work that would help people meet their needs before the need for police arises. Such efforts have been underfunded, he said, and communities need to be ”smart about their investments,” helping people upfront to lead better lives.